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Beer Scoresheet
How many times has it been asked which beer is best? How many times have you wondered how to judge beers when the attributes are so varied? The perfect scoring system for beer was devised prior to the North Newton (Newt) Beer Fest 2005 by myself, Steve Anderson and John Westwood. Many of the ales on offer at the beer fest were rated using this system, crowning Exmoor Gold as the clear winner.
Since then, a competition was held to determine which cider should be drunk at the marriage of Dave Johnson to the lovely Amy. Using this same system, a winner was chosen and added to the ever-growing list of cracking beers. I just hope that this rating system will become a vehicle for underrated beers to become the new Enigma.
The ranking of beers is no mean feat; the many factors that go into the making and the drinking of beer are a testament to its longevity. If you were a true connoisseur and had to come up with a list of factors by which to rate beer, you would probably reach the same correct conclusion that we did.
The beauty of beer is made up of 10 factors:
Taste ...of this there is no doubt. Beer must have a compelling taste to be truly great. Remember to savour the full taste and let the aftertaste have its way before making judgment.
Strength ...contrary to some cynics, this is very important. Getting drunk is lots of fun.
Drinks like a... ...6.8? Strength may be important, but strength should not necessarily be advertised in taste. We are not vodka drinkers; we are civilised. It's a 5.1 by reading the can, but it drinks like a 4.9, sir!
These three factors are given the highest priority of all. The next five categories only have half the impact on the score.
Smell ...some would argue that smell is equally as important as the taste, but how many have actually have closed their eyes and sucked in the true aroma of a real ale? Smell, however, is a factor.
Heritage ...much like X-Factor, no beer is complete without a story to accompany it. Is it important to drink the same beer that your forefathers drank for generations before you? Maybe you prefer a more current tale - this, sir, is the same beer that Henri Paul drank before he drove Princess Diana into a pillar!
Name ...much like racehorses, beers have names. A good name indicates the wit and skill of the brewer, and is not, as one critic writes: "A gimmicky attempt to pull in the immature punter."
Ambiance ...is it the beer or the people that make an atmosphere? If you've ever met an Irishman, you can only conclude that the beer is unquestionably the deciding factor.
Goodness ...do you like nutrients? Do you like a meal in glass? Some beers have more goodness than a pint or Miracle-Gro. For me, this is a bonus.
The last two factors are down in the mix, but they are considered important enough to be included.
Inviscidity ...look it up. It means the opposite of viscosity and tells you just how well a pint slips down the gullet.
Fighting Power ...we all need fighting power, although it can be a double-edged sword. Some would say it's not a positive aspect, until we realise that fighting power, pulling power and singing power are one and the same thing.
The coup de grace of the ranking system is the sum of squares score. This is stolen from the Oxford University exam marking system. Without going into the details, the concept of the sum of squares is to differentiate the mediocre from the average; as Steve declared "a mark of excellence!"
The beer scoring spreadsheet can be found here and a web version is here. |
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